Welcome to the SP Roundup, Nick was too busy shredding on his guitar so the graphic designer is going to be writing the article today. I make no apologies for the jokes written, or lack thereof. Any actual baseball analysis happened completely by accident. (Here’s the real SP Roundup, y’all. Happy April Fools’ everyone!)
Have legitimate questions? I can’t help you. But you can ask Nick during his office hours on Playback.tv weekday mornings from 10 am-12 pm ET.
Jackson Jobe (DET) @ SEA (ND) – 4.0 IP, 3 ER, 3 Hits, 4 BBs, 3 Ks – 10 Whiffs, 23% CSW, 79 pitches.
We got a quick glimpse of Jackson Jobe during the highest stakes imaginable. He got his feet wet during the 2024 postseason, pitching a little over an inning with results that left something to be desired. That did not deter the legions of baseball fans and prospect aficionados from relishing the 2025 debut of Jackson Jobe. Just as with any major league debut, there was sure to be butterflies and adrenaline. Jobe started off pumping 99.1 mph in the early innings. It sometimes was difficult to distinguish if Jobe was challenging the Mariners hitters to hit his fastball a la Nolan Ryan or whether he was simply mislocating them (the baseball fan in me wants to believe the former). In any event, Jobe’s stuff is undeniable. His breaking pitches induced several ugly swings. However, consistency is not quite there yet. He left far too many pitches in places that are not safe for professional hitters. Perhaps it was the nerves, perhaps it was experience. But whatever it was, Jobe will be one that baseball looks forward to figuring it all out.
Let’s see how every other SP did Monday:
Brady Singer (CIN) vs TEX (W) – 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hits, 2 BBs, 8 Ks – 15 Whiffs, 32% CSW, 92 pitches.
The Singer Sewing Machine was humming as Brady stitched up the Texas bats all game. His sinker was an effective tool against righties.
Germán Márquez (COL) @ PHI (ND) – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 4 Hits, 0 BBs, 4 Ks – 10 Whiffs, 20% CSW, 83 pitches.
Feel good story, Germán Márquez reminded us of what he was capable of, before the rest of the Rockies pen reminded us what they were capable of.
Kris Bubic (KCR) @ MIL (W) – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 3 Hits, 2 BBs, 8 Ks – 15 Whiffs, 35% CSW, 95 pitches.
The Bubic is back! After an embarrassing creaming of the ambush of the torpedo bats, the Brewers couldn’t handle Kris Bubic’s fastball that had a 46% CSW on the afternoon.
Martín Pérez (CHW) vs MIN (W) – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 0 Hits, 3 BBs, 9 Ks – 11 Whiffs, 32% CSW, 93 pitches.
Celebrating your birthday party is much more fun with Twins. Enjoy your day Martín!
Jordan Hicks (SFG) @ HOU (W) – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hits, 2 BBs, 6 Ks – 7 Whiffs, 36% CSW, 72 pitches.
Something tells me that there will be another article on this site today that will say nice things about Jordan Hicks‘ start today. You should look for that article. Also, you should join us everyday on Playback as we watch baseball together. Watching Jordan Hicks shove is great. Watching Jordan Hicks shove with your friends is amazing.
Drew Rasmussen (TBR) vs PIT (W) – 5.0 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 0 BBs, 4 Ks – 6 Whiffs, 29% CSW, 70 pitches.
The cream rises to the top. After a long journey dealing with elbow surgery and a period where he was in a relief role, Drew Rasmussen returned to the rotation for the first time since May 2023. He used an economical 70 pitches to relieve the Pirate batters. He relied on his cutter, which was up a velo tick. But he got a Doggie Bag on the day.
Tyler Glasnow (LAD) vs ATL (ND) – 5.0 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 3 BBs, 8 Ks – 13 Whiffs, 38% CSW, 79 pitches.
Unfair baseball thrower Tyler Glasnow was his usual tall, handsome self. Also, he managed to strike out eight Atlanta batters and earned local Angelinos a free Jumbo Jack. What CAN’T that man do?
(Also Aces Gonna Ace)
Cristopher Sánchez (PHI) vs COL (ND) – 5.1 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 2 BBs, 7 Ks – 15 Whiffs, 26% CSW, 93 pitches.
Does Rockie Road apply when the Road has not yet accounted for the Rocks? Hence, should we be more impressed with this start as the Colorado batters are not yet swayed by the mile high conditions? Or does Arizona Fever act similar to Rocky Road? Some questions don’t need answers.
Ben Brown (CHC) @ OAK (ND) – 5.0 IP, 3 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks – 7 Whiffs, 27% CSW, 75 pitches.
Ben Bends Balls
Ben Brown Bends Base Balls
Base Balls Bent by Ben
Ben Bends
Balls Break
Ben’s Bent Base Balls Break
Bowden Francis (TOR) vs WSN (W) – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 2 Hits, 3 BBs, 4 Ks – 10 Whiffs, 30% CSW, 91 pitches.
Relievers turned Starters on the next Oprah.
David Peterson (NYM) @ MIA (W) – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 3 BBs, 9 Ks – 11 Whiffs, 34% CSW, 89 pitches.
Going against MiAAAmi, David Peterson did exactly what he was supposed to do. Win (check), Quality Start (check), More SO than IP (check).
Miles Mikolas (STL) vs LAA (ND) – 5.1 IP, 2 ER, 2 Hits, 2 BBs, 3 Ks – 4 Whiffs, 25% CSW, 80 pitches.
It seems like only yesterday when Miles Mikolas was Yards Mikolas.
Kyle Hart (SDP) vs CLE (W) – 5.0 IP, 2 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 4 Ks – 10 Whiffs, 26% CSW, 80 pitches.
Kyle Hart really sounds more like a Brewers pitcher. Did Milwaukee misplace him at spring training and he escaped to San Diego? Can someone look into this?
Grant Holmes (ATL) @ LAD (ND) – 4.0 IP, 4 ER, 4 Hits, 4 BBs, 3 Ks – 8 Whiffs, 20% CSW, 89 pitches.
HALFTIME! Insert generic Drake joke here.
Ronel Blanco (HOU) vs SFG (L) – 5.0 IP, 3 ER, 3 Hits, 3 BBs, 6 Ks – 12 Whiffs, 32% CSW, 92 pitches.
Really the best thing about this start was the Astros uniforms. Those things were just excellent.
Tyler Anderson (LAA) @ STL (ND) – 5.0 IP, 3 ER, 6 Hits, 2 BBs, 4 Ks – 10 Whiffs, 30% CSW, 91 pitches.
Tyler Anderson is an accountant for the LLP Anderson & Co. He desperately wants to finish your taxes. Please provide your W-2, itemized charitable donations, and property tax payments by April 10th to ensure your speedy refund. Tyler is earning 30% CSW for the Angels, but he can lower you tax bracket to 15% today!
Cade Povich (BAL) vs BOS (ND) – 4.1 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 2 BBs, 8 Ks – 9 Whiffs, 26% CSW, 94 pitches.
On the positive side, there were eight strikeouts. On the negative side, these were long at-bats. Hey, maybe Cade just wanted to give the Baltimore fans some bang for their buck on opening day. Such a nice guy.
Michael Soroka (WSN) @ TOR (L) – 5.0 IP, 4 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 3 Ks – 8 Whiffs, 27% CSW, 83 pitches.
It’s that time of year when we all freak out every time a pitcher is removed from a game with a trainer. Wait, no, that’s actually every single start, ever, in the history of baseball. Unfortunately, Mike Soroka suffered that fate today. However, this story has a non-unhyappy ending. The Nationals are calling a bicep cramp. So, eat some bananas before your next start, Mike, and save your fanbase a minor heart attack.
Sean Newcomb (BOS) @ BAL (L) – 4.0 IP, 4 ER, 8 Hits, 2 BBs, 4 Ks – 8 Whiffs, 33% CSW, 64 pitches.
Boston held a contest at a local Dunkin’ to see who wanted to fill out the rotation while the starters get healthy. Fortunately for Sean Newcomb, he just happened to be stopping in to get a dozen donuts when Craig Breslow was making his choice.
Elvin Rodríguez (MIL) vs KCR (L) – 4.0 IP, 4 ER, 6 Hits, 1 BBs, 3 Ks – 7 Whiffs, 25% CSW, 64 pitches.
Elvin, Simon, Theodore!
Luis L. Ortiz (CLE) @ SDP (L) – 4.2 IP, 7 ER, 9 Hits, 4 BBs, 2 Ks – 10 Whiffs, 27% CSW, 90 pitches.
Luis L. Ortiz, who I assume was born to take the L, lived up to his name today by surrendering seven runs in just 4.2 innings.
Carmen Mlodzinski (PIT) @ TBR (L) – 3.2 IP, 4 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 4 Ks – 6 Whiffs, 26% CSW, 66 pitches.
You won’t believe this, but Carmen pronounces his last name Muh-jin-ski (h/t Sporer). How? Make it make sense.
Joey Estes (OAK) vs CHC (ND) – 4.0 IP, 6 ER, 9 Hits, 4 BBs, 2 Ks – 6 Whiffs, 16% CSW, 85 pitches.
Sacremento? More like Sacre bleu! Noted ground ball pitcher Joey Estes allowed three home runs in his warmup for the Cubs batters who went on to score 10 more.
Cal Quantrill (MIA) vs NYM (L) – 4.0 IP, 6 ER, 8 Hits, 1 BBs, 2 Ks – 8 Whiffs, 20% CSW, 90 pitches.
I’m no pitching guru. But it’s probably not advisable to throw the same exact pitch in the same exact location two innings later with the bases loaded to a guy that smoked the ball at an exit velocity of 109 mph the first time around. Just saying.
Kumar Rocker (TEX) @ CIN (L) – 3.0 IP, 6 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 3 Ks – 8 Whiffs, 26% CSW, 74 pitches.
It was a series of unfortunate events for Kumar Rocker today. Unfortunately, Elly De La Cruz decided to arrive at the ballpark. Unfortunately, Matt McLain also decided to show up. Unfortunately, Rocker decided to throw those pitches. Unfortunate.
Emerson Hancock (SEA) vs DET (ND) – 0.2 IP, 6 ER, 7 Hits, 1 BBs, 0 Ks – 2 Whiffs, 23% CSW, 39 pitches.
winces
Chris Paddack (MIN) @ CHW (L) – 3.1 IP, 9 ER, 6 Hits, 4 BBs, 2 Ks – 9 Whiffs, 24% CSW, 89 pitches.
Chris, what happened? Did anyone tell him he was pitching to the White Sox, a team that lost 121 games in 2024?
Game of the Day
Kodai Senga vs. Sandy Alcantara – Let’s start a gofundme to rescue Sandy from Miami.
But Justin?! Where are the streaming picks? – I don’t know. Ask Nick… oh wait. He moved them to the daily SP Matchups & Streamer Rankings article. That happened last year. Pay attention!
Have Questions? – Clearly, I can’t help you. You should Join Nick’s morning Playback.tv livestream! He answers all questions there for free: 10:00 am – 12:00 pm ET Monday through Friday. Sometimes, I’m there to make bad jokes. Stop by!
Featured image by virtuoso Nick Pollack (@PitcherList on Twitter)
Happy April Fools’ Day everyone!
Too many jokes and no real analysis for the pitchers. It was a waste of a read unfortunately.
Honestly wondered what Nick thought about the Bowden Francis start after all the trash talk, guess we’ll never know.
Was really looking forward to actual insights on if I should pick up Singer, Hicks or Bubic instead of Holmes. Been following you over a lot of other options to get good real time analysis…cool it on the jokes!
Good luck in the standup comedy career but here’s hoping Nick is back for the next one and can provide, uh, some actual analysis to read
When did I get on Razzball?
wow, 3 people falling for this already? nice work
What is this? This is on PL quality, at all. Disappointing
I say this someone who is a PL diehard and loves this site/everything you all do.
The first week of the year, as this own site frequently acknowledges, is THE TIME to swoop in on sleeper FA adds….many of us who followed your advice and drafted GHolmes, Jobe, Hicks etc are unsure whether they are worth keeping, and if you play in a competitive league, you need to make quick decisions today about whether to hold or drop for someone else…..
Is this really the best time to do an April Fools prank?
Is April 1st the best time for an April Fool’s prank?
Haha. An equally silly prank would be if Razzball posted an article WITH actual analysis!
dammit…
Boy, some of you guys are real fun at parties. Nick was always going to do his column, this was just a bit of fun. Dang