I kept forgetting this was a long weekend pretty much until I got in bed on Friday night and it’s gonna be nice to not have to all send you off with a warning about the Sunday Scaries this week. The weather up here in the northeast is well, it’s bad. But I hope you all have a fun weekend in places where it isn’t mid-50s and raining.
At the very least, there’s plenty of baseball to watch.
Two Milli
I doubt it’s news to anybody reading this article that baseball has an incredible trove of historical statistics in existence, but it’s still kind of amazing to me just how much stuff has been written down. For example, today marked the two millionth run scored:
Confirmed by @MLB – Josh Donaldson scored the 2,000,000th run in baseball history.
The first run scored came April 22, 1876. According to @thorn_john the run was plated by Tim McGinley (Boston Red Stockings).
He scored in the top of the 2nd in the 1st game of the 1st season.
— Dustin Morse (@morsecode) May 29, 2021
The millionth run was scored in 1975, so it took almost a century for that first million and then less than 50 years for the next million. At this rate, I’ll see you all in 2045 to celebrate 3,000,000 runs. Nelson Cruz will probably be involved somehow.
I’ll Just Take This And Go
Other things that aren’t real news: Pitchers are bad at hitting. Adam Wainwright didn’t do much to dispel the notion last night, going 0-3 with this strikeout:
https://gfycat.com/windyrichimperialeagle
While the uh, defensive swing might make it into the B-roll of a Pitching Ninja sword compilation, I’m mostly impressed with the incredibly businesslike way Waino just swings the bat under his arm and makes haste back to the dugout. He has accepted the things he cannot change.
Those Pirates Can Be Savage
I’m sure you all heard about the uh…thing that happened in the Cubs/Pirates game on Thursday where Javy Baez turned a routine groundout into a rundown between home and first base. Well, the A’s decided to rub in it a little, and the Pirates’ social media people were in no mood.
this u? pic.twitter.com/q7usQDohzh
— Pittsburgh Pirates (@Pirates) May 29, 2021
Whew…
He Does Everything Fast
Back in 2017, C. Trent Rosecrans put together a podcast called Great American Dream, which followed Shed Long for a season in minor league ball. I highly, highly recommend listening to it if you haven’t, but two things I was very entertained by were the fact that apparently, Zack Cozart sounds a ton like Zeke from Bob’s Burgers and that Billy Hamilton talks as fast as he runs.
And tonight we got to see that he doesn’t just talk and run fast, he also trots fast:
Billy the Home Run Hitter™ pic.twitter.com/XJGKcts2yz
— Chicago White Sox (@whitesox) May 29, 2021
Since this is 2021, let’s go to the StatCast data:
To quote the booth: Some guys can only get to second in that time!
Tummy Ache
With breaking pitches getting nastier every day, it’s not so rare anymore to see a guy swinging at a pitch that ends up hitting them, but it’s usually a back foot or leg. Mike Ford managed to hold up yesterday, but not soon enough to escape this Daniel Norris changeup that caught him right in the stomach:
Getting hit in the stomach is very rare if you think about it pic.twitter.com/pIZrhfXGS9
— Talkin' Yanks (@TalkinYanks) May 29, 2021
Watching the Yankees offense lately has felt like getting the wind knocked out of you, so Ford gutting one out and taking it for the team probably saved him from an unceremonious strikeout to end the appearance.
Smooth Moves
Another week, another Fernando Tatís Jr. clip for everybody to enjoy. Here he is avoiding a pitch in the most flexible and athletic manner possible, with a little bonus SFX work from the booth:
Only Tatís Jr. can avoid a HBP like this pic.twitter.com/ZYvpFHiNGr
— Emily Nyman (@EmSheDoesIt) May 29, 2021
And I would be remiss to talk about the Padres without also shouting out their amazing team swag chain again:
mdw mood pic.twitter.com/RHjha4ueAg
— Cut4 (@Cut4) May 30, 2021
Featured image by Icon Sportswire | Adapted by Justin Paradis (@JustParaDesigns of Twitter)
Ford got hit in the ribs, not his gut, and that hurts like a Mutherf*cker… Wouldn’t be surprised if the Yankees got another IL placement due to the fact that rib injuries hurt for a long, long time..
This seems a bit like body-shaming, and I’d like to see what anyone else WHO MIGHT WRITE ABOUT THE GAME, with his build, ended up pulling off as a baseball professional.
Luke Voit would probably like a few words w/ you. He probably wouldn’t kick your ass, but you might want to be cautious.
I get that you think you’re immune because of your own trunk, but you’re not.
I appreciate you accusing me of uh, body shaming Mike Ford before calling me fat but I’m confused why Luke Voit wants to fight me now?