Wacky Leagues Week 17: Come at the King…

Bender's back baby!

Hey you guys remember in Jurassic Park when Jeff Goldblum goes “Life uh, finds a way”? Well it turns out that goes both ways, as my schedule has been a mess and thus I am coming to you wildly late with this latest recap along with my apologies. But! We have crowned champions in both Guillotine Leagues now, so at least this’ll be an exciting one.

Please forget about the missing weeks and head on over to the PL+ sign-up page and get on the Discord so you can start prepping for the 2022 Wacky Season.


The Guillotine Leagues


Prior to the end of the season, I got to meet Alex Drennan at the NYC PL (the L stands for Lift) meetup, and we talked about his season. The overriding sentiment was exhaustion. The final two in League 1 were KingHippo and Alex, and those are two absolute gladiators when it comes to this format. On Thursday the 29th Alex was working with a mere six-point lead and his final waiver period of the season looked like this:

Alex widened the gap by Sunday, up around 90 points by his own rough calculations, and his roster featured a total of two position players by the weekend, but it worked, and the crown does not belong to the King, but to Ser Drennan. All hail!

Meanwhile, in League 2 the final week came down to Our Illustrious Leader Nick Pollack vs Charley Butcher, who was looking to slice up his competition. Charley took a page from Alex’s strategy and only rostered three position players in the final weekend, which came down to the late games as Nick was only 1.25 points up at 7PM on Sunday. Much like in the other league, Nick was able to protect the lead and come away with the chip. And when all the dust had settled, he had this to say: “Myles convinced me to be a part of the guillotine league back in January saying “Don’t worry, you’ll likely be too busy and get knocked out before May”, then entered me into the league when I totally forgot I agreed. I’m not only shocked I lasted this long, but also how much I loved it. This was my favorite league of the year and I’m stoked to do it all again next year.” (Emphasis his, and also yessssss ONE OF US, ONE OF US!)

So now, for Alex and Nick, please enjoy:

That’s another Guillotine season in the books, folks, thanks for playing and following along, and hopefully we’ll see you next year trying to protect ya neck along with us. Now everybody enjoy getting some rest on Sunday nights.


Grand Theft Baseball


Ok, so I missed a couple few weeks in there and for that I again apologize, but we’re down to five-man protection lists so things are getting hotty totty. And speaking of, SABRtoothTigers and Doug Carlin had themselves a weekend: As of 10:28PM on Sunday, SABRtooth was losing their matchup only to wake up on Monday and find that a scoring adjustment put him over the top and won him the week by a single point. This is the second time this year that Mr. Tiger has won his matchup by a point or less. Definitely sustainable.

Also of note: The top four teams in League 2 have all clinched playoff spots, as have the top two in League 4.

Notable Thefts:

League 1: Justin Redler grabbed Chicago ace Carlos Rodón from Ben Bingham. No puns or wit here, just stealing an ace straight up.

League 2: I pride myself and think of myself as a writer to remembers to hit his deadlines, as there’s a drive into deep left field by Alex Tran, stealing Nick Castellanos from Christopher Reeves and that’ll be a home run. And so that’ll make it a 4-0 ballgame.

League 3: There was a run on Yankee power bats as TC Zencka stole Joey Gallo and Charley Butcher absconded with Giancarlo Stanton.

League 4: SABRtooth’s win netted him a Zac Gallen, which isn’t a bad thing at all.


Grand Theft Standings




Categories: It was ZappyAlex’s week, as Go Other Team! bested Adam Howe’s squad 8-0, winning on OBP by a mere .003 points. Meanwhile, Adam’s pitching staff put up a 1.82 ERA and 0.91 WHIP in 29.1 innings, which is not what you want when your league has “Worst” in the name. On the other hand, Alex only had one pitcher who didn’t surrender at least one home run, and ended the week with 14 HRs against and 104 TB, those a tough to beat no matter what.

Points: The high scorer in points was Ben Brown with 327.50, who more than doubled Collin Carlone’s score for the week, it seems like all the losing teams this week were around 150 points, weird. Ben got 91.75 points out of Zach Davies and 81 points even out of Jordan Lyles, which is always a nice base from your staff. Matt Tavernite gets the “Lowest score, so your team is actually good, sorry” chain though, with a trio of his pitchers putting up negative points for the week.

WorstBall Standings

Featured image by Justin Paradis (@JustParaDesigns on Twitter)

Asher Dratel

Asher hails from Brooklyn, wears a 2008 Joba Chamberlain jersey to every Yankees game he attends, and pronounces BABIP funny. Appreciator of Beefy Lad dingers and beers. @asherd.bsky.social on Bluesky.

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